Jumping is fun!!!

I know most you you are like.... well duh of course its fun, but for me, since I started a couple of years ago, (?!) I have spent like 95% of my time feeling anxious, and maybe 5% feeling like I was enjoying it, often not realizing it was fun until after I "survived".

I'm a good girl I swear :)

Why the change? Not sure. Holly has calmed down a bunch. We've schooled her for 6 months and she's learned a lot. I also have been (finally) listening to a self-hypnosis cd my mom had bought me awhile back on jumping confidence.  http://www.laurakinghypnosis.com/shop/fearless-showing-jumping-equestrian-507/. I'm pretty sarcastic to try things like this, but I was pretty desperate of late, so why not?It's overall plants the seed in your mind that, hey your a confident rider and can handle it. Its a louder voice to have while I ride saying positive things not the negative crap my own brain like to spew at me.

Now I don't necessarily think my riding insecurities are cured, or won't rear their nasty little heads when jumps get bigger, Holly gets spooky, or my hormones surge. But since this last week, while I still had a teenie bit of the oh boy what will lesson bring nerves, overall, I was EXCITED to jump. That's like huge for me.


Lesson today was windy and pretty cool so we all flatted inside and Holly was good. Nothing amazing, but wasn't spooking much at the crap blowing everywhere and when she did, I was calm, low and behold, no big deal, we moved on.

Next Gen kids + adorable visitor Raleigh

Then we went down to the outdoor and although I may have had a few skipped beats when she named out the jumps for L's first course... then paused and said it was only for L. I still don't necessarily feel ready to jump the weird walls, etc with Miss Chippy.

L and I alternated warm up over a vertical then doing little courses. I only did 3 jumps, but they included things like rainbows and walls, and were a little wider than I am used to... and that was a little... exciting, but I knew we could do it, and it was ok (see the weird thoughts I keep having?! Notice their positive tone?)

Holly was really for the first time I've noticed horse sour, and was a slug to leave her buddies at the rail, then when we came around to the rainbow jump, charged it with some serious zest to get back to her buddies. I had to really work at keeping my hands up and shoulders back. Even trainer commented to hubby I was handling even her little bits of naughtiness really well.

It just felt good. Hot damn, I'm still kinda smiley. And I know there will be the bad rides, but I'm going to enjoy this for as long as I can.