I may just be a little overwhelmed. Or I may be having another ADHD life moment and ready to mix things up a bit. I tend to do that. Dramatic hair style changes, car shopping, house buying... The last one being my current large headache.
Um, so if you haven't ever had to stage a house to sell it, don't. Tell your realtor to use their awesome powers of persuasion to sell it, because if you have lots of hobbies and/ or kids, it really sucks. I currently have people cleaning my windows, cleaning up the yard, and coming to do a deep clean of the house later. We already had the why the hell does this take a week house painting event.
Bright side, I've found a lot of stuff that I don't care enough to save, and will likely find plenty more to throw out as it comes back out of boxes too. Damn packrat gene runs strong in both our families.
On the horse front, I'm having a mid-30's crisis. I seriously don't want to jump anymore. Which is kinda lame, because I've actually been doing well.
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Of course I tell trainer I don't wanna jump and she says tough, she says she'll make it easy. One 2'6" oxer, yeah, totally cake for weenies like me. Then I do well and its back to rollbacks to the skinny wall and bending lines that makes us fall on our forehand.
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| At least this oxer was small |
Not wanting to jump is like a 90% truth for me, cause a little part of me likes that I conquered that fear enough to even try it, and feels kinda badass when coworkers give me props for hurdling 1000lb animals over large wooden poles for fun.
Jumping really isnt scary at 2'3" and below, and Holly isn't super happy to exert effort over such insulting jumps, but I've figured a lot out on her recently making it a lot easier.
Sitting up and keeping my hands higher like I'm jumping bigger jumps keeps her off the forehand and me in control of our pace. Like waaaay better.
Right now I just wanna be putzing bareback or hacking nice shady trails... Two things that really aren't an option with Holly and my current barn.
Trying to not make any rash decisions while doing the whole house selling thing. Because really I need to see where my finances and feelings land when life stops being quite so turbulent.
Stay true to you and what you want to do. It's so easy with horses to get caught up in what everyone else is doing! But you're right, making one big life change at a time is a really good plan.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I'm trying to not !make too many sudden moves ;)
DeleteSorry you're having such a stressful time. I'm sure it will all work out.
ReplyDeleteYou look badass over those jumps!! But if it's not making you happy anymore, there's no shame in taking a break for a while. You never know, your jumping urge could come back!
Thanks, sometimes it's so hard to tease out what it is that is not working.
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DeleteIf it isn't fun and it feels like you are doing it because you are obligated, it isn't worth it. Yeah, don't make an impulsive decision, but only you really know how strongly you feel. Riding, working and having little kids is SO hard. The riding part should be the "retreat" from normal life...that is what I 90% of the time feel. I haven't always felt that way, but I think with the right horse combined with the right riding discipline (totally a personal decision), it can be your little personal vacation. I don't want to be challenged every ride. In fact, I prefer to have very small challenges and risk when I ride. I feel you on the trail ride thing...I will never go back to a horse I can't just do whatever on. Life is too short to deal with constant drama.
ReplyDeleteI think that's my big issue, its not my happy place right now. I should have known the bay mare club would mean always the potential for drama ;)
DeleteLol bay mare club
DeleteSo hard when you have so much else going on in life that you can't make a rational decision about the horse. If it's not fun, it's not worth doing in my opinion. Life is too short. If you want to trail ride, trail ride!
ReplyDeleteI wish we had trails. Sometimes I think my mare needs the mental break too.
DeleteI'm in my 30s and regularly have the same debate. Sometimes I love jumping, and other times I'm like nope, I don't want to jump. Ever again. I have no good advice, but you're not alone!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I really needed to hear I'm not alone!
DeleteYou are not alone. I quite often question my sanity while throwing my 1000+lb beast over large sticks. Could you maybe just put lessons on hold until after you get the house stuff settled? Then you could reevaluate what you want when that stress is gone.
ReplyDeleteI really need to make the time to just hack her a bit and see how it feels. WS can do the jumping so she doesn't forget how to look pretty while airborne.
DeleteAs you know, I recently went through the same issue. I was afraid I wouldn't fit in with my barn when I made my decision, but so far everyone has been super supportive. I would definitely take time to think on it though - maybe until after the house thing (which must be exhausting!)
ReplyDeleteYour blog was one of the reasons I started thinking about reevaluating my happiness vs current horse/ discipline situation. No big moves until dust settles a bit.
DeleteI second or third not deciding till your life stuff settles down... It's a lot to have family living with you and be the provider. Don't lose your love though because you need something for you in life :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, that what hubby says too, I need my sanity keeper- horses. Maybe just a little different way than currently.
DeleteI think you and Holly look amazing going over those jumps. But sometimes a change is as good as a rest, as they say. Maybe you guys would enjoy doing some dressage lessons or something for a bit… until you feel the jumping urge return (if it does).
ReplyDeletedefinitely a lot going on right now to think about. my bottom line is that it has to be fun, you have to *want* to do it. tho of course there are other life pressures too that can leak over and darken the whole picture. good luck figuring it all out!
ReplyDeleteMoving sucks!!! It is a good chance to throw out a lot of junk though. I have slight packrat (or maybe overly sentimentality) and hubby does too so I understand that. We have so much junk we never even use!! I want to throw it all out, but hubby balks. Good luck getting it all sorted and the junk thrown out. I hope the move goes smoothly. Definitely wait until you're less stressed to make a decision on the horse front!!
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