In need of a change?

I've been in kind of a funk lately with riding. I lost my desire (resolve?) to jump, and flatting only goes so far when you are constantly feeling like every inch of your frame is out of place. I can feel my muscles returning, which means I will continue to ride better, but I just haven't been 'feeling' it. I still love being around horses, the smell and sounds comfort me, but I drag my feet when going to ride, and only half-heartedly put effort into it. So I have been walking around for the last week or so thinking of the first line of the Shakespeare quote:

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York;
And all the clouds that low'r'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried."

It is so misquoted that even in my mind, I was using it wrong. It really is about things beginning to go right, that after a bad time, things are looking up.  Once I spilled my unsettled thoughts to my husband, I felt a little better. I tend to bottle my deeper thoughts and feelings up until I'm all wound up. I always am looking for something else, more school, different car, (window) horse shopping, I guess I should have known that when my current H/J style of riding began to feel tough and a little redundant I would start getting restless. I do miss riding western, and after listening to my coworkers, trying dome cutting or reining sounds like such a fresh change. Not by any means do I think it would necessarily be easier, just different.

Really I think its just growing pains of sorts. I am a mom now, which leads to sleep-deprivation, backache, and guilt. I feel bad leaving my boys to go ride when there is always so much to be done around the house. I also think this crazy weather (really, high 80's in October?!) has me feeling unsettled anyways.  But lets be real, I have no intention of leaving the barn I'm at, and unless I win the lotto and get a horse, I'm gonna stick with what I'm doing right now.